Here we go, lads’n’lasses – the first thing I wrote during my time in UK. After reading this, you may end up thinking “Wait a second, this doesn’t evoke the same old crippling depression as the rest of the stuff. Is this Matt? Where’s our dark and brooding angry dwarf? Give us our angry dwarf back!”
Yet again, I must disappoint. Yes, I wrote this. Yes, I was in love with someone. Yes, she was from the UK. No, I will not name her. No, nothing really happened between us. Basically, I waited for too long, over-analysing and overthinking, so long that it made me realise she wasn’t right for me. Nothing really against her, but I figured out we were a bit too different. (Un)fortunately, she never got the chance to know how I felt about her. That’s why I wrote this.
Bear in mind that this was written about a month after my arrival on foreign lands, so I had no one around to actually confide in. Most of my time during my first 2 months in the UK was spent in seclusion, within the safety of my room, not really talking to anyone and mostly scaring anyone who’d dare disturb the “angry Romanian with the large terrifying hunting knife”. Eventually, some of the people I had previously scared ended up becoming my friends. But here I am ranting on about off-topical nonsense again…
Here it is.
Through cruel bits of bitter rain,
She came down and smiled at me;
Her grace has turned my mind insane
And plucked me out of misery.
She fades away, comes back again,
Lingers in my broken heart;
She makes her way through shallow pain
As all my memories depart.
Her healing touch – a mark upon
All that I can hear and see.
The sun draws nigh, the war is gone –
I’m not the beast I used to be.